I had a decent sleep, woke up to the birds chirping and the sun shining. I crawl out of bed at 5:50 am, go to the bathroom to wash my face; may I add that this face is full of acne because it can't make up its mind if I'm young enough to still have acne or old enough to have crow's feet, anywhoooo, I wash my face, and apply a moisturizer and look at the mirror and notice 2 of my super sassy fly ass press on nails are missing! I dig thru my makeup bag and find some extras and sit there on the toilet and glue them on so I don't look like too much of a hood rat walking around with 8 fabulous nails and 2 stank ass looking nails. I go on a mission to find the 2 nails that fell off in my sleep. I look every where, they weren't anywhere in my bed or surrounding area. I shrug it off and rehearse what I would say to a male sleep over buddy if he randomly found it in my bed at a later date. I go back to the bathroom and do my makeup and attempt to brush my hair. Now, for anyone who doesn't know me or doesn't know much about me. My hair is a nappy, tangly, matted to all hell and a bitch to brush, so I take the chump's way out and just don't brush it. But...today is Friday so I'm gonna go all out and brush at least the top layer. In the midst of brushing this rat's nest I hear a cling clang in the sink..I look down and what do I see? A matted black with gold tip super sassy hellllla fly press on nail! My fucking hair ate it in my sleep! My hair is always consuming things, it's like it likes to hoard objects! So if one was in there, the other one was in there too! If there is one thing I know about my hair, it likes to collect things in pairs-like it is Noah's Ark or some shit. I dig thru the nap to find the buried treasure and sure enough, there it was, the second nail! Keep it classy bitches.
