27

Today I turned 27. It took me way too long to get out of bed today. Mostly because I was lazy, but also because my entire body needs a cracking. I'm only a day older than I was yesterday but it's like my body just knew that I am officially 27, and to me I may as well be 70. I spent 5 minutes plucking out grey eyebrow hairs. That's rubbish. My eye brows mean a lot to me, and it hurts me personally to see them be abused like that. I sneezed today and hurt my back, and possibly peed a bit, I'd say I peed my pants, but I wasn't wearing any...let's be honest with each other, I was dancing around singing Taylor Swift not wearing pants...and this is why you always make sure you knock and wait like 5 minutes after said knock before walking into my house otherwise we will both stand there embarrassed. I recently had a quarter life crisis and dyed my hair fairly vibrant red. I think it looks nice, there is a fair line between red tones, it can look hella fashionable or super Russian hooker-ish. I'm sitting riiiiight on that line, I'm one shampoo wash away from looking like a cheap hooker. Not a bad thing, maybe I can get paid to go on terrible dates that I go on!? Speaking of being single, I'm feeling a lot of pressure to settle down. I swear whenever I see my mom she just stares at my uterus and wonders why it hasn't been occupied with dozens of grand babies for her to love and kiss. Well mom, I like my vagina the way it is. It is pristine. I don't need some baby clawin it's way out just yet. A lot of my friends are married, soon to be married, and they talk about when they plan on having kids. Well fuck, you plan for that? I really just always assumed my kids would be a surprise and conceived while I was in a food coma after eating at the Mandarin or something. But it's become pretty apparent I will be that odd 'auntie' hanging out with these friends and their lil kids. They will have cute play dates at the park and I will show up hung over, ashamed, still in last nights clothes, the walk to the park will be my walk of shame. My friends will talk about all their mommy stuff, changing diapers and chapped nipples from breast feeding, and I will talk about the guy I met last night who has mommy issues and likes to play mommy and baby and he sucks his thumb after sex or something messed up. Yay growing up! Just a little experiment to this blog, I've had a few requests for me to do a few VLOGS as well for me to do some answer and question blogs, apparently people think it's funny for me to answer relationship, sex, or questions about my self. So I am willing to give er a try. If you have any questions about anything, just email them to leanne_45@hotmail.com or private message me on Facebook. Your questions will remain anonymous unless you specify and want to have your 15 mins of fame! Once I get enough questions I will write a blog with the responses and possibly do a VLOG :) hollllla.