Let's take a moment to talk about some things....

There are way too many 'fads' out there that I can't really comprehend. Let's start off with twerking. This dance doesn't look sexy, appealing, cool, or interesting at all. To me, this dance move looks exactly how I look at 2 am when I get a crazy bad leg cramp while sleeping and trying to shake it off. Next fad, the belly top, the mid drift show-er, the muffin top exposer, the 'that's not a tattoo, it's just my stretch marks from being pregnant 4 times' fad. Who in their right fucking mind brought this into society? I understand some of these fads and fashion trends are created for the cat walk. And yes, it does look great on some people....but it's never those people that wear this mid drift showing shirt. Now, I think women of all shapes and sizes can be beautiful. That being said, I have a belly, and I know that this fad is not for my body type. I tried doing p90x ab workouts and I just looked like Chris Farley rolling around on the floor, sweating from places I didn't know could sweat. So, I cover up my gut, I'm not ashamed of it, I've invested a lot of time and money into eating Doritos to accomplish this glorious cushion of love. But no fucking way in hell will I wear a top that shows it off. But I've been seeing wayyyyyy too many ladies wearing these belly tops that shouldn't be. I'm very happy that you are confident with yourself. But if you are as beautiful and sexy as you think you are, you will be able to show this off while covered up a little bit more. Maybe it's our fault for calling it the belly top, that's kind of misleading, since you may be like ehhhh I gots me a nice belly, I can wear this shirt! We should've called it the 'only if you have a toned tight stomach shirt and are between the ages of 18 and 23' shirt. Okay, now that I've likely insulted one or two people reading this, let's move on to the last fad. I can not understand why people wear these thick, black framed glasses for fun. There is no prescription, you are wearing them because you think it's cool to wear spectacles. I have worn glasses since 4th grade I think. And it's terrible. What these hipsters who wear fashion glasses do not understand is what it's like to cut a 4 inch long slice out of your leg because you can't wear your glasses in the shower while you shave your legs. Or how when you do your makeup while blind because you can't do your eye makeup and wear glasses at the same time, and then you do your makeup, put on your glasses to find out that your eyebrows are penciled in so thick you look like an angry bird, and that you actually applied mascara to your upper lip and not your lower eyelash. Orr how about when you are trying to get sexy with a guy, and you're making out, things are getting hot and heavy and you get off the bed to take off your shirt, you also remove your glasses, leaving you pretty much legally blind then you go to sexually crawl onto the bed but you miss it by an inch because you cant fucking see anything, and now you are laying on the ground like a moron. Soooo hipsters, you still think it's cool to wear glasses? What's next wearing braces for fashion and not function, every hipster walking around with head gear, skinny jeans, a skateboard they don't know how to use and a band tshirt for a band they don't even know? Fuck right off hipsters, and you too Miley Cyrus for trying to make twerking cool, go on wit yo' pancake ass.