I don't like it when you talk while looking at my vagina.

Sometimes in certain situations, silence is golden. I know when people work with customers or clients they think they need to fill the silent void and constantly talk. But it just makes the situation awkward. A perfect example of this is when you go to a doctor or a gynaecologist (my auto correct is trying to change that to say gun colonist lol). Whenever I go to see the vagina doctor for a quick check up on the elusive pink panther it usually turns into an awkward situation. You get changed into your backless, assless gown, laying on your back with your feet in stirrups, then the doc asks you to scootch down a lil bit more, then you move your butt down an inch, the doc says, ohhh a lil more, so you move a lil more, your ass cheeks decide to eat the white crunchy paper that is lining the table thing you are laying on, you don't move down enough for the doctors liking and she/he just grabs your hips and moves you down to where your ass should be. Your legs are spread eagle in a bright, veryyyyy well lit sterile room, and you start to panic wondering if you missed a spot while shaving your legs. While your vagina is out in the wide open, the doctor is looking right at her, and this is when I want it to be silent. No words need to be spoken, just do what you need to do, enjoy the view, and we will go on our way. But nope, the doctor thinks this is the perfect time to chat it up. With one finger inserted inside of me she asks, 'so, Leanne, what do you do for a living?' I start freaking out, can she tell what I do for a living by the wear and tear of my vagina? I think of jokes to make about it, maybe tell her I am currently inventing a Chapstick for your vagina lips to prevent chapping in the winter weather!? but I just say I am in customer service. She is probably thinking 'ya....customer service...do you mean servicing dick?' She then starts talking about The show, Orange is the new Black, a show about women in a prison who are horny and usually sex each other up. Whyyyyy is the doctor talking about a show with lesbian tendencies while digging through my clam like she is looking for a pearl?! She continues to make small talk all while staring right at my love box. In moments like this I rather just listen to the slight hum and buzz of the fluorescent lights then have her blowing wind from the chitchat onto my labia.