I am without a doubt the worst person to offer anyone relationship advice. I date guys who are so young they don't know the movie 'Clueless', so young they still have a hangover from their 19th birthday, which was likely the day before, I find men attractive who have stutters because when we fight it takes him so long to get out his argument that I win every fight because his opinions are incomplete therefore invalid, I date men with a lack of personality because there is no way I can date a guy who will outshine me but then I get bored with them. I always think I want a serious relationship but then I forget that with a serious relationship comes compromise and understanding, two things I don't fully comprehend. How can I date someone and let them use my good towels when they dry off their filthy hooves, or let them drool all over my comfy pillows which each have their very own designated spot in my perfectly arranged OCD bed? Although I am obnoxiously impossible and stubborn, I find the joy and love in the simplest of things when it comes to relationships. I doubted that love was real for awhile, that it was a fictitious emotion or event in one's life. Until the simplest moment happened many months back. I was dating a guy, things were good, but he was the type of guy to come over unannounced. I don't do well with that concept, at all. So there I am sitting on my couch, pantless (if I'm home alone pants are never apart of the equation), I'm watching Discovery Channel, I was really into the documentary on poisonous frogs, I was elbow deep into a bag of zesty Doritos, no makeup, nappy pony tail sprawled out on the top of my head, when all of a sudden my door opens and my boyfriend of like 2 weeks frolics in and stares at me. I sit there dumb-founded, super embarrassed covered in Dorito dust, looking like honey boo boo's mom. I wanted to die, the golden rule is you do notttt let the guy you are just starting to date see you in such a ridiculous state. Too make it worse, I'm pale as fuck so when I blush, this paper white powdery skin glows like a neon sign outside of a rub n tug. What happens next was the most romantic thing ever, this action made me think true love does exist....this guy takes off his pants, plops down next to me grabs the bag of chips, grabs the biggest,sloppiest handful of delicious Doritos and gives er hell. We enjoyed this special moment...pantless, covered in the glorious crumbles of artificial cheese flavoured corn chips. That right there kids is what you don't read about in Disney stories, but that, that is love.
