Mall rats

Yesterday I went to the mall to look for a pair of heels for a few upcoming weddings I am attending. Now, I should have known this was a mistake, I hate the mall, I hate the mall right before school starts and the mall is infested with teenage shit heads. I walk into the mall and I kid you not it smells like teen spirit. There are teenagers every where and at the front entrance of the mall there is a group of 5 teenage boys who all look like Justin Bieber who yell out words like 'penis!'every time anyone walks by them. But I got really confused, I thought they were advertising a sale of penises. And I got really excited, thinking maybe the mall isn't so bad after all, I can just come here and buy a box of penises. But these kids were just liars and were not selling penises. As I look for some shoe stores I notice there are about a million teenage girls who all look identical. Every single one of them were wearing weeeee little jean cut off shorts and belly tops. This is how I know I am old, when I notice this trend and I'm appalled by it. I sound like an old lady when I just want to hiss at them 'where are your mothers!?" I sadly walk on by tender tootsies and just want to go in there and buy myself a nice pair of loafers to wear, I need comfort now not style. But I head on over to some fashionable shoe store and stare at my options of 7 inch hooker heels. When I finally find a pair I like, I quietly whisper to the store clerk "ummm, do you...umm, have these shoes in a uhhhhh ummmm, ahem....size 10?" Bitch responds "ohhhh Hun, I don't know if we have them in a size THAT big!" She pretends to go check but really just stands behind the counter texting her boyfriend talking about anal. I'm just guessing that part, but I'm pretty confident my guess is a reality. I don't even know this girl but I just hate her and her life for judging me and my big feet. Do you know what they say about girls with big feet? We like guys with big feet because they have big penises. Anywhoooo, I go to like 4 other shoe stores and face the judgemental stares of these whores who work there. One girl tried to be helpful and got me a few pairs of shoes that were size 10s all of which were flip flops or looked like crocs. Sooo, fuck this noise, fuck all you shoe stores for giving me a complex. I do what any normal female would do and go to the food court, because when clothes or shoes don't fit, food court Chinese food will always comfort me. I go to ManchuWok, I get me some noodles and veggies and a coke, and sit down to enjoy this meal. As I'm digging my way thru the noodles, I can feel someone staring at me. I look up and there is this teenage girl sitting alone just staring directly at me. I ignore it and continue to eat. Every time I look up, this girl is looking at me, I get uncomfortable because I likely look like a fool trying to eat my noodles. I instantly start to worry if I have something on my face, did I accidentally wipe off my eyebrow at some point in the day? Whyyyyy is she looking at me so intently, I don't even think she has blinked yet. I start to get enraged. I want to go confront her, but I give her a friendly wave instead. Maybe she knows me? Bitch doesn't even bat an eye when I wave! Now I'm riiiiight pissed off. I sit there just staring back now. 5 mins go by, she reaches in her purse to get something, all while still looking at me. I get kinda worried, what if she pulls out a gat and shoots the shit out of me? Nope, guess what she pulls out....a walking stick....you know the red and white ones THAT BLIND PEOPLE use?!? I was in a staring contest with a blind teenager, and she without a doubt won. Now I sit there, with cold Chinese food, feeling like a fucking prick. I felt like the biggest asshole ever, the only asshole that will be bigger then how I felt in that moment, is the actual asshole of that judgemental shoe store clerk after her boyfriend was done with her last night. I fucking hate the mall.