McRevenge

There's only been a few people I have met that I have secretly put them in the 'must seek revenge on this shit head' list. Here is the story of two people on that list. I get in moods sometimes, where I am a raginggggg bitch. And I'm in the wrong for ever going out in public when I'm in that state of mind. But if someone does something tremendously dumb or annoying when I'm in a 'Leanne state of mind' mood they are doomed. So, a while back I was going to Toronto for the day and I was going to take the Greyhound there. I decided to stop by McDonald's for breakfast, to get a beloved BLT bagel. They are fucking delicious. In my mind I thought this BLT bagel would brighten my day, I envisioned, sitting there outside waiting for the bus, birds a chirping, sun a shining, just enjoying life. But nope, the fucktards who work at McDonald's fucked that up. I order my bagel, after like 5 minutes of waiting for the girl working there to even acknowledge me because she was too busy adjusting her hat she has to wear. Bitch, you're wearing a McDonald's uniform, you can only look so cute with that shit. So, finally, she puts the order in, and the greasy,pimply, pre pubescent moustache wearing kid walks from the back of the food prep area to the front where the overhead menu is and stares at the picture of what goes on the BLT bagel. You have to be fucking kidding me right? He legit stared at me for a solid minute. Goes to the back and asks another employee what goes on it. So he attempts to make it, I can see him making it and he is royally fucking it up. But I'm not going to correct him right now, I need to see where this goes, for entertainment purposes. So he finishes making the sandwich, his bimbo partner in crime puts the sandwich in the bag, but the turd in the back didn't wrap it properly so the bagel fell outta the wrap and into the brown paper bag. She pretends she didn't notice and hands me the bag. I stand there, arms crossed, bitch face on, eyebrows raised (perfectly plucked and filled in may I add, they really add to my bitch face) and I ask her to get the guy from the back so I can have a word with them. She stares at me in awe, and I say..go get your friend from the back so we can all have a chat. Soooo, she goes and gets him. And they stand there just marvelling in my ridiculousness, I say to them "okay..now...you both are going to try this again. BLT is a an acronym for what goes on it...bacon...lettuce....and tomato. Not the sausage, cheese, one tomato and a pickle or whatever you decided to put on it. So you will make that properly, and then you (looking at the girl) will package it properly, don't act like you didn't see the sandwich fall outta the wrapper into the bag. Just don't pretend. I saw...I'm not impressed." They both stare for a little too long, and go make me my BLT sandwich. He finally got it right..but really. How the fuck do you not know what goes on a damn BLT? So I finally make it to the Greyhound station and get on the bus, I have an hour bus ride to sit and plan my revenge on these two. This is how the revenge scenario plays out in my mind...these two will fall in love while salting fries at McDonald's, they will get married and in 10 years have a couple of kids. One of those kids will be a boy...and in 18 years he will be out under aged drinking at a pub with his friends, he will meet this smoking hot cougar (that'll be me) he will fall in love with her, despite the age difference. He will take me home to meet the family on Thanksgiving Day. His mom will be appalled by the age difference and that her son is dating an older lady. She will be traumatized by this. Just heart broken. She knows she wont have any grandbabies because my uterus and eggs are just dried up to all hell by now. She will take her anger out on her husband (the fucker who couldn't make a BLT) and their marriage will suffer. And I will turn to them, look them both in the face and say. "You fucked with my BLT bagel, now I'm fucking with your son. McRevenge fuckersssss!"