Leaving your legacy behind.

I hope everyone had a wonderful holiday season! I sure did, but the growth of my ass over the holiday season just proves a point that I need to work on saying 'no' to appetizers and other puff pastries. I'm sorry I haven't posted on here in a while, but they do say distance makes the heart grow fonder, so I hope you all missed me! I wasn't too sure about what to say in the post, so I decided to talk about what I do to make money aka my job. And to many this may come as a surprise I do not give out $5 handjobs for a living (I charge $6, because I'm classy like that). But in all seriousness I work in a clothing store. Not just any clothing store...a clothing store marketed towards elderly women. Now you'd think a foul mouthed asshole like myself wouldn't flourish with this clientele. But let me tell you, these blue haired hussies love them some Leanne. Now I am a master in changing my personality to suit the people that I am around. So at work, I lock away all the swear words and jokes about vagina in a safe and throw away the key while I am there. I find my self saying a lot of things like 'Ohhhh, Beatrice, that cardigan looks sharp on you. The Embroidered cardinal on the cuff looks so stunning.' And when a customer points out a flaw on the stitching of some very sexy elastic waist band pull on corduroy pants I say things like 'oh sweet heavens to Betsy, I will get that taken care of' now, I hate my self when I talk like that. But I understand the need to act that way around old people. And I honestly go home, shut the door and usually say every cuss word I know just to make sure I haven't lost a piece of my soul while at work that day. Working with old ladies can be fun, they usually have all the time in the world and aren't in a rush to get home to their husbands old, shrivelled up, inverted penis any time soon. But they are very needed. Like the time a 90 year old woman asked me to assist her in the change room with a pair of pants. She was weak and couldn't put the pants on by herself, soooo I had to do it. This sweet elderly woman, chose this day, the day that I was destined to help her dress, to wear the most see thru granny panties known to man. I saw her vagina. The entire thing, thru her worn out gitchies. There are things you can't unsee. And when looking at her dried up lady parts, my life flashed before my eyes, but only the life of my beloved vagina. It made me feel bad for the unpleasant moments I've put her thru, like discount tampons, dull razors, bad wax jobs, small unworthy penises, cheap cotton underwear, and that one time me and an ex boyfriend tried using heating sensations lube that made my vagina feel like she got sunburnt and then sprayed with acid. Seeing this old lady bird was traumatic, but at the same time, I realized I only have one vagina, and I need to make sure she sees better days. So one day when I'm 90 years old and some poor soul working in a clothing store has to help me put on my pants, she will look at my vagina and say 'that is the best looking geriatric vagina I've ever seen'. It's all about leaving a legacy in this world. Remember that.