For years friends and family have marvelled in the ridiculousness that is my life. Now, I will share it with the world! I sit here telling myself I will not have regrets about what I blog about, but so far I have one small regret...why the hell did I decide to blog the day after I had a hood rat moment and applied press on nails?! Yea, I said it, press on nails...but they are matted black with gold tips, my inner Shanniqua couldn't resist the temptation. For those of you who have me on Facebook know that my inner Shanniqua is mourning the loss of my black BabyPhat purse whose strap broke recently. Since I don't have the money to purchase a new weave to please Shanniqua, a set of $11.99 ghetto certified press on nails will have to do. That being said they are a bitch to type with!
I'd like to start off by stating a disclaimer or two about this blog, if I offend you I'm sorry (and by 'sorry' I do mean that I'm sorry your opinion isn't welcome here), if you see a story on here that you question may or may not be about you...well it probably is, and if you think about suing me...best of luck to ya, the only valuable things I have in my possession are my 18" nappy hair extensions, passwords to numerous porn sites, and 14 different makeup products to create the fiercest eyebrows ever.
This blog will contain my opinions, stories, rants, hopes, dreams, and the obnoxious thoughts that swim around in my brain!
To my friends and family, this is for you and your entertainment! Most of you have listened to my comedic styles for years, if not decades! I hope this blog provides you with the Leanneisms you need to live a happy and fulfilled life.
To my mother, I apologize. I know when you first held me as a new born baby fresh from your womb you didn't envision your little baby girl having the personality of a drunken truck driver, for that I am sorry. I would like to thank you for not letting me listen to Alanis Morrisette when I was younger because she was 'too foul', it was at that moment I searched for other music and I discovered Wutang Clan who taught me more swear words than Alanis ever could. My vocabulary blossomed.
To the hipsters of the world, who think it's cool to wear tacky reading glasses. Where the fuck were you when I was 11, an insecure preteen who had to wear glasses because I was blind as shit? Why didn't you make it cool back then? Huh?!
To the Universe, thank you for always sending the weirdest human beings in my direction. I always have something to laugh about, and to now blog about. Keep those freaks coming my way!
As for the youngin's and the sensitive bitches out there, this will be an uncensored blog with grown
up tales, you have been warned! That being said, I am off to start writing blog entries!
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