Today is brought to you by the letter F, F is for fellatio.

I saw an article floating around the internet about what women think about while giving a blow job. So, here is my take on that same topic: 

• Upon seeing the penis for the first time: "Why the fuck did I brag to this guy about me not having a gag reflex? You can't gag on something that's 3 inches...."
• "I'm going to put my hair up in a pony tail before I get to business, this is the international sign of 'shits about to get real'. 
• "Did he think by shaving his pubic region that THIS dick would appear larger? And why the fuck wouldn't you shave your thighs too, all I'm seeing is a naked mole rat in a forest of thigh hair...."
• "Okay, just do some fancy tricks with your tongue and hopefully this will last as long as his dick length...not long at all and then you can be home in time to watch that documentary on sperm whales on The Discovery Channel"
• "I dunno, should I lick a ball or two? Well, he did pay for my meal at The Keg, okay..just one ball though..."
• "Bad idea with the balls, he definitely didn't shower today after hockey...."
• "He must be enjoying this, he is starting to sound like Chewbacca..."
• "What the fuck why is he rubbing my ear lobe...."
• "I'm fairly confident I am doing a stellar job at this, I think it'd be okay if he left a fifty on the bed side table, I couldn't even be offended that he thought I did this for a living..."
• "Did he just stop breathing? No wait, is he about to have a seizure...oh ok..no, this is how he finishes..oh...ok....ya, no he definitely ate asparagus today....."